If Jodie Foster can say it ...

A friend of mine rates The Golden Globes annual awards show as her Super Bowl. If you are into awards shows, it would be the best one to watch, or so I've been told. It has movies AND television whereas the Oscars only address movies and, well, the Emmy's only reward those on the boob tube. I'm not one to spend hours watching these award shows; I'd rather read online the next morning (or five minutes after the show ends these days) the list of winners. Last night, though, I did watch the 70th Golden Globes show. I was on the couch trying to behave and rest to fight off this minor cold. So, I tuned in and caught some pretty funny remarks, some not so classy remarks and frankly, some just weird comments and thank you speeches. Admit it, Jodie Foster is a beautiful woman (I'd love to look like that at 50 or hell, even 38!), incredibly talented in her profession as actor/director, and she's very well spoken. I don't know much about her personal life, but heck, if she can say it on national television, I can say it here on my blog. Yes, I am ... single!

I was married once. It was a lifetime ago. At 21, I thought I had life all figured out. Marry my high school sweetheart, buy a house, have a few kids and live happily ever after. Yeah, that lasted all of about two years. The details of divorce and how all this fell apart are a story best left untold, for there is nothing to be gained by it all now. The experience rocked my world and shook me to my core. I had never experienced such heartache and uncertainty about my future. That being said, it was the greatest of blessings! Enduring that time in my life led me to today ... brought me new life ... showed me my own strength ... helped make me the strong, independent and caring woman I am today. I wouldn't change it for anything!

That being said, yes, I did close myself off from searching for new love. I had to figure out who I was and what I wanted from life. I focused my energy on my family/friends and my work and found what I never knew I always wanted ... to give more love than I received. I found true joy in being an aunt, sister, friend, leader. This is who I am. If you know me today, you know this about me. I'm happiest when I'm with my kids (biological and honorary nieces and nephews), my family or friends, or helping to serve someone else.

Dating at 38 sucks. Let's get that said right off. Where have all the gentlemen gone? Is chivalry really dead? I say bring it back! I don't need a guy to open a door for me, but it sure is sweet when they do. I know what I'm looking for in my future Mr. Right. First dates, ugh. So much pressure. I'm one of those women who knows five minutes into date one whether or not there will be a date number two. I have such little free time that I am very selective about how I spend that time. Being told you have breast cancer at 34 years young, having a double lumpectomy followed by double mastectomy, enduring chemo and baldness and the possibility of a much shortened life span and/or recurrence all help you really focus on how you want to spend that little free time! Dating around and too many first dates is not how I want to spend my time. But, I like to believe this quote: "When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances." (Joshua Harris)

Is now the right time for me? Who knows. Ask me tomorrow, next month, next year. All I do know is that today I am happy, loved, content...and okay, currently single. Cue the orchestra.