It's said there are five love languages. I'm not talking about the French or Italian love languages. I'm talking about the five ways each of us recognizes, gives and most genuinely accepts love. The five are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. One of my sisters loves Acts of Service; my other sister is Words of Affirmation. My niece is both Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch (she loves to cuddle). Yes, you can give love one way but embrace receiving it another way. I show love by Acts of Service and Quality Time. You want to show me you love me? It's all about Quality Time. Plain and simple. Always has been, always will be.
Time is the most precious commodity we all have. How you choose to spend it and with whom you spend it tells a great deal about your priorities. My favorite places are in the homes of my sisters, cuddled on the couch with the kids, a fire, a book, just "being" and having many of my most cherished people around me. A girls' day of shopping and lunch with my mom and sisters means the world to me as does someone who reserves time with me in their busy and chaotic life. We are all busy, we all have way too many things we need to get done. But to me, too many of those things are trivial and yet, to many people I know, often seem to take priority over the truly critical and necessary things in life. I often wonder why that is the case.
There's a quote I came across not too long ago ... "Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?" (Greg Behrendt) That quote comes from the movie/book "He's Just Not That Into You" (and frankly currently is appropriate in my life, but I digress). While yes, this quote speaks to a girl who isn't quite getting the hint that the guy really isn't all that into her, if you replace the word "his" with "their", the audience expands. This question could be posed to any of us that allow ourselves to become overly invested in people who really don't make us a priority in their lives. I guess if you're not a Quality Time person, none of this is relevant. But if you are, well, you know exactly what I'm saying.
Over the past sixteen years or so, I've spent almost every vacation traveling to see my sisters and nieces/nephews. (Okay, I've had a few other trips in there, but anyone who knows me at all knows I'm in either Phoenix or Montana when I'm on vacation.) My family is my priority and they know it because I make Quality Time for and with them. I do not miss special events like baptisms and graduations. I may be exhausted and going broke from traveling and living out of a suitcase, but my family, the kids especially, never question my love for and commitment to them. I've shown them repeatedly that they are of utmost importance in my life.
Don't mistake me saying I'm a Quality Time person to mean I don't appreciate and/or accept graciously love in any of the other languages. (Really, c'mon now, who doesn't like to receive gifts or kind words or a hug?!) I'm only saying that to me, making time to spend with me does more to show you care than anything else. Those who truly matter in my life continue to understand what makes me feel their love for me and they find the time for me. It really comes down to this. For what do you make time? For whom? To me, therein lie your priorities.
No comments:
Post a Comment